Thoughts, Feelings and Opinions

Just a Few Things...

2009-12-27T02:47:00.005-05:00

It is going on almost three months since I lasted blogged...wow how time goes by so quickly. Time is an amazing thing.

I am so happy that I have a month off from school. InshAllah I will be completely done with my BA in May. Alhamdulillah!! I am so excited. I know I will be crying so much for joy once i receive my degree =)

My in-laws are moving to Egypt and I wish them all the best. InshAllah I will be visiting them next year. I do feel it is such a scary move, but also extremely exciting.

I have recently moved to Long Island from Brooklyn. I miss being SO close to my mom and grandparents, but then again I do need the space for my own good. I am so used to them being there and I know it will eventually come to an end. I guess it is best that I prepare myself now. I do have my husbands family here in LI, but it isn't the same. I am very happy, though, and I will always call and visit my family =D

Finally, I am learning how to drive! Woohoo! It is totally awesome that I am doing this now because inshAllah I will be moving to Georgia in a few years. I will then have NYC experience and it will be easier for me to get a car down there. Even if I do not make it to the dirty, dirty, it will always be a plus to have a license and experience with NYC driving. InshAllah I will be obtaining a license within the next two months! Good luck for me please, hehe.

Hmmm...

2009-10-01T22:12:00.003-04:00

Perhaps I should use this blog to post questions about certain thoughts that come crashing through this brain of mine. It shouldn't only have to be about what I think, what I feel, and what my opinions on particular things are.

There is so much I want to know. InshAllah I will get the time and opportunity to study before my time is up. InshAllah I spend my time wisely enough to satisfy Allah (SWT).

I was doing a little research and had a few discussions about Isa (Jesus) AS and was asking myself, does he REALLY have a father? I am tired of hearing all this jibber jabber about what people have to say. I wanted to READ. I DID. Of course I will never mind hearing what someone else has to say, never, but a lot of people to my understand tend to just listen to others (not just listen to friends and family, but even the sheikhs and scholars as well). This is PART of the way to gain the knowledge, but definitely NOT the entire way. Once MUST read as well and the first piece that they must read is the Qur'an. EVERYTHING is in the Qur'an. Want more of an understanding? That is what the hadith is for along with many other very good books.

What is the real deal with the Messiah and the Dajal? This too is something I am slightly interesting in doing some more research on. I have heard and read a little bit on this and, inshAllah, my intentions are to continue and find out what I want to know.

I have decided that the way to help my knowledge grow is to read the entire Qur'an first while taking notes. I then want to learn the tajweed to better recite the Qur'an while possibly learning the Arabic, but that is definitely not my main priority. From there I would like to take all my notes and read some hadith along with other good books that incorporate everything from the Qur'an. I feel this is going to be a very good way for me to learn and be sure on my knowledge and not question whether I know the correct thing or not. Right now I am at a stage in which I am trying to be extremely careful as to what people tell me and what I read because there is indeed a lot of nonsense. There are Muslims right along with the non-Muslims that try to make others perceive things a certain way. If we would all search for the knowledge like we should, we would then know what is right and what is wrong. We would all have a clear understanding as to who are the righteous and who are clearly not. InshAllah this is my goal; for I do not want to be fooled.

Education & Work

2009-09-24T23:02:00.005-04:00

Although I began to work before I became Muslim, I did have my thoughts, feelings and opinions about being a working woman. I was never into school back when I was younger. It was a shame because I knew I could have done a lot better. I just wasn't as interested and intrigued as I am now, but I always knew an educated woman was better than an uneducated one.

Being a Muslimah in this society (being in the USA), is pretty difficult. One is around men and the haram (the forbidden) every single day of their lives. In order to go to school and go to work, you have to prepare yourself physically, mentally and spiritually. This is something that a lot of women do not understand. Some do understand, but choose not to. This is their preference, their decision. For a Muslimah that can afford not to become as educated as others, live with family and be taken cared of or have a husband to support them then mashAllah. If they can do it and they are happy then alhamdulillah, let them be. No one should judge them except Allah (SWT). If a Muslimah decides to become more educated and make her own money, then mashAllah. I feel that a Muslimah doing this has strength and its a beautiful thing. No one should should them except for Allah (SWT).

I chose to continue my education although I do not have to. I chose to work although I do not have to. I feel not only do I have faith in Allah (SWT) to guide me in this world, but I feel strong enough to handle the kafars (disbelievers). I do not believe they will harm me as long as I stay righteous. I believe they will have no affect on me as long as I stay righteous. They cannot stop me from reading qur'an, keep me from making sure my husband is well and happy, keep me from making my five daily prayer and keep me from doing everything Allah (SWT) has asked me for to do. With Allah's (SWT) will, I will be smart and I will have enough money to help myself, my husband and my future child/children, inshAllah. If I decide to stop working or work less, inshAllah I will be able to work again, for I will have the knowledge and experience if I wanted to or had to go back into being a working woman.

I have blamed school and work for many things I have slipped on. The school and the job has nothing to do with keeping up on my deen and keeping up with my household duties. We all have to learn how to balance everything we do and want to do in life. We have all the right in the world to study and to make money. These things were never haram and they will never be haram. We should all pray for guidance and do what Allah (SWT) has asked for us to do and inshAllah we will do just fine.

Ramadhan & Eid

2009-09-20T22:52:00.005-04:00

First, I would like to state that I am extremely thankful for all of my followers and the comments they leave. I am happy to have found out that what I write is something in which people may enjoy reading. I feel it isn't much, but its something! =)

Second, I would like to state how important this month of Ramadhan was for me as well as Eid. I learned and realized a great deal while going through a great deal.

Fasting: This went much better than I thought it would have gone. Last year was pretty difficult, giving the fact that it was indeed my very first Ramadhan, but I do not think that was the actual reason. I believe that it was due to the lack of knowledge I had in what to do to prepare myself. I prepared myself a little bit this year, but I believe it helped in my surprising ability to fast without such a problem. I felt so good doing it and I truly believed it helped me both physically and mentally.

Imam: During this month I read more Qur'an than ever before while being a Muslim. I feel I have more knowledge and it continues to grow and will continue to grow, inshAllah. I wanted to use this month to increase my imam even further and I believe I did so. I have more questions than ever and I have that urge to learn more each and every day about my Islam.

Family & Friends: I used to think about having more friends in my life (Muslimahs in specific) since the majority of friends that I have now are not Muslims. I also feel because I have such a small family and they are not Muslim on top of that it is a little difficult to receive the support and company I would like to have sometimes. I am extremely satisfied as I thought about the importance of life during this month and reading Qur'an and heading to the masjid that I do not have that many people in my life. Sometimes having too many people around you, whether Muslim or not, does not always lead to it being something positive. Regardless if my family is not Muslim, they love me and I love them. There are only three main members that are in my life day after day and I am very happy to have them as my family. I have a few Muslim friends as well as my in-laws, so I am grateful for what and who Allah (SWT) has blessed me with (Alhamdulillah).

Marriage: I cannot lie. Marriage has its ups and downs and it is quite difficult at times. I honestly do not know how a man and women can get married without knowing a significant amount of information about themselves first. This dunya (life) is no joke. In this day and age one cannot trust who is out there. One cannot begin to imagine what is going on because of how bad things have gotten as the years have gone by. I am once again extremely blessed for who Allah (SWT) permitted me to marry. There is so many things he can be doing to upset me, worse things than what upsets me now (petty things), but thats not the case. This goes on with so many couples nowadays that it is not even funny. It is quite sad. They get upset, divorce, go to the next and the situation is just as bad or even worse. Is this too personal? No not at all. It happens ALL the time to EVERYONE. No one is perfect...no marriage is perfect. Things are bound to happen. We must be strong enough and read Qur'an to learn how to resolve these issues and move on. Be happy, inshAllah. Alhamdulillah I am so happy and wish that everyone is careful in choosing a spouse and how they handle their issues as Muslims.

Zakat: This has got to be one of those most beautiful things in Islam. People tend to think of themselves and have no shame in doing so. The greed overpowers them and they think they are above many if not all of humanity. In Islam we must donate to others, especially our fellow Muslim brothers and sisters and this is something I wish everyone did. I feel extremely good when I do so and inshAllah I will continue to donate not only during Ramadhan, but through the whole entire year.

I will end here with these thoughts, feelings and opinions I had during Ramadhan. Alhamdulillah I was able to see both sides of the family today, Eid, and had an EXCELLENT time. MashAllah =)

Progress

2009-09-07T19:03:00.005-04:00

I was thinking about what I should do in order to increase my imam. I have been reading the Qur'an everyday while capable. I do want to attend Qur'an classes, but what about learning the language of the Qur'an first? I know many people are extremely righteous Muslims by knowing other languages other than the one of the Qur'an, but perhaps this will be something that I may do (learn Arabic). I am not saying it will help me be a more righteous Muslim, but not only will I then be able to read the Qur'an better (to understand it better), but then I will be able to pray better as well. I will learn how to speak to the language better in prayer and inshAllah make less mistakes than I may be making now. It might become easier for me to learn more verses of the Qur'an and faster as well. Tajweed is so important and this is something that needs practice. InshAllah I will study tajweed first so that way perhaps it will help to then learn the Arabic when I am ready to study the language in debt. I can take studying the Qur'an from there inshAllah.

Stay Away From the Poison

2009-09-06T22:33:00.010-04:00

As I am looking through of some blogs, I have discovered such beauty. Not only in the way people type out their thoughts, feelings and opinions about specific criterion, but what their thoughts, feelings and opinions actually are.

I am highly encouraged by some of my fellow sisters and in some cases brothers (on twitter most of all) to do certain things at certain times to increase my imam (inshAllah). I definitely feel I am at a standstill within my Islam due to what I have to go through within this society. Granted, I was not a Muslim before, therefore my views on life were much different than how they are now. I wanted to ensure I got my High School diploma so that way I went off into College. I wanted to make sure I obtained good enough grades to increase my GPA so that way perhaps I may head into Grad School after I got my BA degree. I wanted all of this so that way I can obtain a good enough job that gives me enough money to fit my needs and wants. What were my needs and wants? I wanted money to give me a nice home. I wanted to fill my home with beautiful things. I wanted to to be married and have children and ensure I had enough money to spoil them. I wanted to have a bunch of pets, for I always had pets growing up. I needed to have enough money to have enough food. I needed clothes. I wanted a lot of clothes. I needed to stay on top of everything. I needed to make my family and some friends proud. This, to me, is poison.

We all have our goal(s) in life. All Muslim brothers and sisters may not all have the same goal(s), but at least something that I see in many that I interact with is pleasing Allah (SWT) to get into Jannah (Paradise/Heaven). This is something that I now think about everyday. I think about it when I wake up. I think about it as I do may daily errands. I think about it while I am outside shopping. I think about it at work. I think about it at school. I think about it while eating. I think about it while with family and friends. This is on my mind 24/7. The next step for me would be to take this encouragement, the knowledge that I have now, the drive to then excel even further in my deen. I want to continue to learn until my time ends. I know I must take it step by step, for I need to get better in terms of obtaining more patience. InshAllah I will come to understand that taking it one step at a time is not only just the right thing to do, but it is right for a reason. There is so much to learn and I am extremely excited for the future. It is also important that when one takes the time to learn Islam, that one should also take the time out to learn about others as well. We cannot be blind to what we have to entail no matter where we are and what we believe. There is too much going on in this lifetime and we should all be aware. We must stay away from the poison and do as Allah (SWT) has asked for us to do...

(This will most likely be continued in another blog, inshAllah)

Now...

2009-09-06T00:51:00.002-04:00

I was a quiet, shy little girl growing up. I didn't have much to say to anyone about anything. My small family kept me close to them at all times. Hardly went out with friends unless I was on the block with the boys. I was around 8 to about 12 or so. A true tomboy I was. The only family I would play with would be my loving cousin Jeff =) It was great while it lasted. I always wanted a brother or sister to connect with and spend time with. It obviously never happened. It was only me, my mother and my grandparents. Maybe if I had it any other way it would have been a nightmare for me. There were few things here and there my mother would let me do or a few places here and there my mother would let me go to, but it was hard for her being the only parent. She would always be concerned as to what grandma or grandpa would think/say.

And then time passed.

I was afraid to inform them of my decision to become a Muslim. They would think I was highly influenced by my husband (boyfriend at the time) or my best friend (who was in my life ever since elementary school). Of course this is something they did think about and actually mentioned to me. I even thought my husbands family would think that this decision was made because I was somewhat influenced by him. Sometimes it is hard to think in a situation such as this one I have gone through that what if the person (in this case the person was obviously me) wants to make a decision for them and perhaps because of God? Why would the person have to be "slightly" influenced by something or someone? I was actually surprised that MY own family would think I was influenced giving the fact that I was always up under them growing up because those few were the only ones I had. I looked up to them and never wanted to disappoint them. I had to do what was best for me. I had to do what I thought was right. Of course my husband and my best friend HELPED me to understand Islam, but they did not MAKE me or try to INFLUENCE me to do anything at all. My husband loved me before I became Muslim. I was still a person of the Book. I was always a decent person. I just didn't know what I know NOW. It was difficult at times to explain this to the family, but I thank God that regardless they always cared for me. They were always there for me. They always LOVED me.

Now...

There are still a few comments made that I do not approve of at all by friends and family members. I do not think that will ever change, unfortunately. All I can do is just pray and make dua that perhaps it can simmer down to the point where the comments are as rare as they are going to get. It is very difficult to refrain from making particular statements because of their ignorant ones. I must thank God for giving me the strength that I have today to focus on my Islam and stop minding the people who are unaware of this beautiful religion in which I am extremely happy to be in. My family came a long way in excepting my decision. I am more than happy to have them by my side.

Things Happen

2009-09-05T22:12:00.002-04:00

Well, there goes handling blogging very well. I accidentally deleted my google account, which of course deleted all my access to my very first blog (delaliluv.blogspot.com). Sadly, I had to open another google account and place the number 1 in my blog address (delaliluv1.blogspot.com). Why does this disturb me so much? I should be extremely happy that I was able to access the old blog to copy and paste everything so that way I technically didn't have to start ALL over again =)

MashAllah!

It's annoying how little things such as what happened to me today can upset us so much. Then we forget about it a little while after and then everything is back to being a-okay. What nonsense.

My Islam =)

2009-09-05T21:41:00.002-04:00

I wanted my first blog to be about how I became a Muslim. I feel it is the MOST important stage I have gone through in my life. Then I thought, how typical would that blog post be? We all indeed have different stories as to how we were guided, for Allah (SWT) must guide you into Islam, but I feel the poem I posted as my very first blog post is pretty good in explaining how I feel about being a Muslim in this society at this current time. Granted, that is most definitely NOT the only reason as to why I am a Muslim and not on the top of my list, but perhaps people will understand better by reading the poem who do not meet me eye to eye regarding Islam as a whole. It is highly important for me to state that I do things to the best of my ability to please Allah (SWT) and no one else. For my intentions are to be a slave for no one else but Allah (SWT) so that way I may enter Jannah (Paradise/Heaven) by doing what Allah (SWT) has told me to do.

Islam is very simple and easy to understand. Once you get into studying Islam and comparing it to other religions such as Christianity and Judaism, it makes sense to people to be a Muslim. This is exactly what has happened to me in the process of becoming a Muslim. I didn't have to go into full debt with other religions to see that Islam makes complete sense to me. InshaAllah (God willing) many others will seek knowledge and use their human abilities to go out and research the TRUTH. I do not mind getting into conversations and learning what other people think and feel. I also do not mind any questions people have to ask me. I am more comfortable now speaking about Islam to others and I feel I came a long way and know how to go about having these conversation with others. I made my mistakes in the past and I feel I have learned a great deal from them Alhamdulillah (all praise is due to God).

"Baby, it's all good"

2009-09-05T21:41:00.001-04:00

What do you see when you look at me
Do you see someone limited, or someone free
All some people can do is just look and stare
Simply because they can't see my hair
Others think I am controlled and uneducated
They think that I am limited and un-liberated
They are so thankful that they are not me
Because they would like to remain 'free'

Well free isn't exactly the word I would've used
Describing women who are cheated on and abused
They think that I do not have opinions or voice
They think that being hooded isn't my choice
They think that the hood makes me look caged
That my husband or dad are totally outraged
All they can do is look at me in fear
And in my eye there is a tear

Not because I have been stared at or made fun of
But because people are ignoring the One up above
On the day of judgment they will be the fools
Because they were too ashamed to play by their own rules
Maybe the guys won't think I am a cutie
But at least I am filled with more inner beauty
See I have declined from being a guy's toy
Because I won't let myself be controlled by a boy

Real men are able to appreciate my mind
And aren't busy looking at my behind
Hooded girls are the ones really helping the Muslim cause
The role that we play definitely deserves applause
I will be recognized because I am smart and bright
And because some people are inspired by my sight
The smart ones are attracted by my tranquility
In the back of their mind they wish they were me

We have the strength to do what we think is right
Even if it means putting up a life long fight
You see we are not controlled by a mini skirt and tight shirt
We are given only respect, and never treated like dirt
So you see, we are the ones that are free and liberated
We are not the ones that are sexually terrorized and violated
We are the ones that are free and pure
We're free of STD's that have no cure

So when people ask you how you feel about the hood
Just sum it up by saying, 'Baby its all good'

-Author Unknown